Haruhi Fujioka's Ten Ways to Pay Back Debt
by thegirlwithmanynames
Summary: Haruhi tries ten different ways to pay back her debt to the host club, with varied and often unsatisfying results.
1. Way 1

**A/N: Inspired by an article on Yahoo called '10 tips to get out of debt'. ;) **

_**Haruhi Fujioka's Ten Ways to **__**Pay Back Debt**_

**#1: Keep a log of all your expenditures.**

"That'll be another three hundred thousand yen added to your debt, Haruhi."

Haruhi sighed and took out a simple blue notebook and a mechanical pencil. With a click of the pencil, she scribbled something into the book and shoved it back into her bag. When she looked up again, she met the gaping faces of four of the six other hosts.

"It couldn't be…" gasped Hikaru, clutching his brother's arm.

"No way!" exclaimed Kaoru, equally as shocked.

"S-she – my precious Haruhi – my little girl looked like –" stuttered Tamaki, seemingly scared out of his wits.

"Kyoya!" the three of them breathed in terror, looking from the Shadow King to the crossdressing girl so quickly it looked like their heads might snap off. While Haruhi was shaking her head in exasperation, she felt a tug at her sleeve and looked down to see the smallest host watching her in concern.

"Haru-chan? Are you feeling okay? Do you want to hold Usa-chan?" Honey held out his bunny to her, and Haruhi rolled her eyes, kneeling so that she could be level with him.

"I'm feeling fine, Honey-senpai," she said, with a little snort. "I just figured that since Kyoya-senpai basically controls my debt, I should at least get to see how I've managed to accumulate so much and learn to stop that from happening, right?"

"I have to admit, it's an ingenious idea," Kyoya added from behind his laptop, not even looking away from the brightly lit screen.

It was quiet for a moment in the third Music Room – an extremely rare occasion – before sound exploded again.

"I CANNOT ALLOW THIS!" Tamaki exclaimed, rushing to Haruhi's side and taking her by the shoulders. He held onto her as if she would better understand the importance of what he was going to say the tighter he gripped her. "Let Kyoya take care of the boring math work, Haruhi! You can stay here and Daddy will take good care of you and we can do all sorts of fun things –"

"Senpai, let go of me!" Haruhi struggled in his vice-like grip, trying to free herself.

"Hey, come on, Tono, let go of her!" shouted the twins in unison, and ran to their king, pulling him forcibly off of the small brunette. Tamaki let out a wordless cry of despair at being pulled away from his 'daughter' and, in a quick moment, was crouched in his corner of woe, muttering nonsense about 'shady twins' and 'just want some daddy-daughter time'.

"Haruhiiiii…" chorused the twins, advancing on her now that Tamaki was out of the way.

"Don't worry about your debt," began Hikaru, leaning on her left shoulder and looking up at her pleadingly.

"We can distract you, if you'd like that," finished Kaoru, appearing at her right and whispering in her ear. They held her close between them, and mischievous smiles lit up their faces. Haruhi rolled her eyes and shook them off.

"Leave me alone, you two," she snapped, crossing her arms across her chest. "If I do this, I have a chance at knowing how to reduce my debt and then nothing that'll happen around here can be blamed on me."

The twins shrugged and looked at each other. "Your loss."

She turned away from them and was about to walk out of the Music Room before a large hand touched her shoulder and she was forced to stop. Honey ran under his cousin's outstretched arm and skidded to a halt in front of Haruhi, blinking up at her with innocent eyes.

"Are you sure, Haru-chan? Don't you want to stay with the host club?"

"Mm."

"That's not it, Honey-senpai," Haruhi reiterated, shaking her head. "I just want to be able to get out of my debt, all right? I'm fine with the host club, I just don't like owing people –"

"You like the host club? OH, HARUHIIIIII! MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL LOVES HER FAMILY!" The blond stood so quickly from his corner that he knocked a table to the floor.

"So touching!" two voices added, sniffling together.

"That's cute, Haru-chan!" piped the oldest behind his bunny rabbit.

"Yeah."

The small girl was surrounded by four bodies pressing in against her in a tight hug. She struggled to get out of it, but she only managed to be released a full minute later. With an exasperated sigh, she brushed herself off and found herself a corner alone, taking out a book so that she could study.

"By the way, Haruhi," a cool voice sounded from behind her, and she looked up to see Kyoya standing over her, his ever-present ledger under his arm, "you'll have to be more careful with what you say. When you announced your love for the club, _Daddy_ broke our newest tea set. That's another half-million added to your debt." His eyes glinted behind his glasses.

Haruhi sighed and half-heartedly wrote the cost down in her book. At this rate, she'd never be free of the host club.

_Way #1: __**FAILED.**_


	2. Way 2

_**Haruhi Fujioka's Ten Ways to Pay Back Debt**_

**#2: Reduce your interest rates.**

"Hey, Kyoya-senpai?" Haruhi tapped the older boy's shoulder, unnoticed by the other hosts and their guests in the third Music Room. "Are you too busy now, or can I ask you a question?"

The bespectacled boy turned towards her with a blank, impassive expression on his face. "As long as it doesn't take _too_ much time," he answered, and adjusted his glasses. "What is it, Haruhi?"

"It won't," she assured him, and smiled a small smile. "It isn't even that important. I just wanted to know how much I still have left to pay." The answer prompted the Shadow King to open his ledger and glance perfunctorily at a page.

"Approximately six million yen," he replied, and closed the black book. "Why are you asking?"

She wasn't sure why she'd asked, actually, but she was relieved she had. With all the additions to her debt over extended periods of time, she had begun to believe that instead of paying it back, she only kept adding to it. However, it still stung to think that she had been working at the host club for six months and she had only managed to pay off 2 million.

"Six million?" she asked, ignoring his question. "I've been here six months, shouldn't I have paid off more than that?"

"Well, Haruhi," Kyoya began, smirking slightly at her, "of course you know that breaking more valuables and causing the club to lose money also contribute as additions to your debt, so that it doesn't necessarily stay a fixed value but varies even within the period of a week."

"I know that much," she grumbled, inwardly cursing Tamaki's excitable nature and the twins' mischievous pranks.

"Also, over these six months, interest rates have been added to the debt's total."

"Interest?!" exclaimed Haruhi, suddenly outraged. She had thought she was paying a flat sum, and now interest was added too?

"Of course," Kyoya answered, his eyes glinting in amusement behind his glasses. "You didn't think I would make an exception, did you?"

"I didn't think anything at all!" she retorted, eyes wide. "You didn't tell me you would be charging _interest_!"

"You know very well this club is run like a business, Haruhi. Why would think this aspect would be any different?"

She sighed, resigned. "Can you at least tell me how high the rate is?"

"Twenty percent." He was hardly paying attention now, turning his attention back to his laptop. Haruhi's eyes looked like they would explode from her head.

"That's ridiculous!" she managed in indignation. "It's way too high!"

"What do you propose, then, Haruhi?"

"Five percent," she replied firmly. Kyoya couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"_That's_ ridiculous," he said, looking at her again. "Much too low."

"It's a normal interest rate," she protested.

"Maybe for commoners, but it's insufficient to maintain our budget."

"Seven percent, then," she allowed, hands on her hips.

"Don't back down, Haruhi!" chorused the twins, appearing seemingly out of thin air at her side.

"You can do it, Haru-chan!" cheered Honey, flashing her the victory sign.

"Not a chance," responded Kyoya, shaking his head.

"Why not?" she challenged, and the twins gasped.

"Courageous!" breathed Hikaru.

"That's our Haruhi!" Kaoru beamed.

"It's not enough," he said blandly, and Haruhi sighed in frustration.

"Ten percent."

"Fifteen," countered Kyoya, his expression unreadable. She deliberated this for a moment – her onlookers waited for her reply with bated breath.

She knew that this was likely the most she would get him to bend – Kyoya could be remarkably stubborn and persistent when he wanted to be, especially relating to matters of business. It was obvious that he wouldn't budge further on the subject; while they waited for her answer, he had gone back to his laptop, typing something else, the clicking of the keys documenting the steady flow of his thoughts. He wasn't interested past this – she had no doubt that if she refused this offer, he would refuse to make another. And so, Haruhi decided, if she wanted to get anywhere in paying off her debt, saying yes to this suggestion would be in her best interest.

"Fine," she said, and, disappointed in the lack of action, the twins stuck their tongue out at her and skipped away arm in arm, to the squeals of several guests in the vicinity. "Fifteen percent it is."

"I'm glad we could agree on this," Kyoya spoke calmly, and made a small mark in his black ledger surreptitiously.

"It's to both our benefits, isn't it?" she shrugged, smiling at him. He deigned her with a slight smile of his own, albeit the veiled threat that the normally friendly expression concealed.

"Of course," he said, and tilted his head slightly. "But just to be clear, Haruhi, it's your quota that takes care of most of your debt. A miniscule change in interest rates will hardly affect the paying of your debt in the grand scheme of things." His smile grew larger. "Thank you for seeing things my way. Perhaps we could do more business together in the future?"

_Way #2: __**FAILED.**_


End file.
